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Onechan Bara, Sexy samurai in bikinis kill zombies? How Can I refuse?
Posted by Metal_Kitty666
Posted on 26 April, 2012 at 9:27PM ↑ 0 ↓ 0
Onechan Bara, Sexy samurai in bikinis kill zombies? How Can I refuse?

Actually, pretty easy to refuse this one.

Onechanbara is a japanese game where you play as either a sexy lady in a cowboy hat, her little schoolgirl sister or the moonwalking skimpy police woman. Right off the bat only the Bikini Woman, Named Aya, but you get to play as the other two later in the story.


Now, down to business, the story... The story kind of just starts outta nowhere, it opens with Aya in the shower in a glorious PG-13 cinematic, which means, no full nudity... *Cry* Well after some dialog between Aya and her sister, which is hard to get into because the game is not dubbed, just subbed, as they are watching the news, suddenly ZOMBIES!!! AHHHHHHH!!! And then they leave to go fight... ZOMBIES!!! AHHHHHHH!!! That's pretty much the beginning of the story, there are just zombies, and that is that.


Well, now we get into the game play, which I say has one fundemental flaw, you are thrown into the game with but a bikini and a sword, that is it... No instruction, no tutorial... What the hell is that crap? I guess you could read the manual but that only tells you the controls, there is a whole lot more they need to tell you. A grand example of this is when you go into a berserker state, you do damage out the ass and you mve super fast, VROOOOOOOOOM, but oh no! My life bar is draining!? Well, the the hell is it doing that!? Maybe if I clear the room of enemies then... Nope! Well, poo, I'm dead now... Well I repeated this stupid cycle three or four times, got frustrated and just stopped playing. But just from dumb luck I found out I need to eat a statue head, I assume you eat it, then you go back to normal, WOOHOO!!! Another problem with the game play is the map, it tells you where to go but it is really hard to read, I got really lost quite a few times because I had no Idea where to go. Also some of the enemies are stupid strong and take forever to kill, and there is even an invicible enemy...

Now, that all said this game has some good qualities behind the gameplay, such as the loading screen. During loading, you take on the role of a Chibi aya and you move about the screen killing zombies as they flood from the left side of the screen, and the waves get larger and larger, it is really fun between loading screens, which you will run into frequently. The combat for the most part flows nicely it's not too difficult, and the boss fights give a pretty good challenge, also the diversity of enemies isn't too shabby. This game also has a good sense of pacing, it gets more challenging as it goes.


Now, one of my favorite aspects of a game, the graphics and the art. This game has a lot of positives and negatives in the art and graphics department. First of all, I must say that the player models look amazing, very good physics on them, they are smooth and just look good. That being said, the enemies look like the came from house of the dead, thay are blocky, disproportionate, and the textures on them make me sad. The environments are kinda hit n' miss some look pretty good, others look drab. But probaly the most noticable flaw in this part is when you are playing as the police lady, named Ana, when you are shooting at enemies and moving at the same time while not locked on, you moon walk everywhere, it is an immense eyesore... I actually felt like boiling my eyes into a liquid and then snort said eyeball smoothie. Now, the music is alright, not the best but it is catchy, but gets repetative.


So, in conclusion, do I recomend this game? eh, not really, once you get a hang of it and figure everything out it's pretty fun, but it's not worth the effort. Frankly, this game seems incomplete, it should have had at least had six extra months of developement. This is a low quality game with some pretty visuals, but is only good for one play through and not worth buying.


Side Note: there is a dress up feature for your character which is likely the most worth wile aspect of this game, but chances are you are just gonna have your character run around in nothing but a bra and panties... That's what i did.

26 April, 2012 at 10:59PM ↑ 0 ↓ 0

Subs are hard to follow?

but srs: I like this article. It's good and informative, told me pretty much everything I wanted to know about the game, and quite amusing to read. Top notch, good sir!

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